Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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