whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
