Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
