swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
