laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm at about main and main street
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Randomize
