So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
