Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
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