He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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