at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
