Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
