so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
