Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
