He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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