Kareoke will never be a sober sport
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
