My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
