Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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