It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
