You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
