how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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