Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize