I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
