good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
