Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
