fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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