What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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