dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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