Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize