Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
