When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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