sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
