haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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