after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
