I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
