smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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