Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
How external is "for external use only"?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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