when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
