Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
