she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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