i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize