He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize