The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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