i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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