THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
