More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
