Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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