i think my tv is drunk
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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