Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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