I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
