why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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