Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
