i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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