I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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