...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
