He felt like a one man threesome
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
