If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize