I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
