break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
