So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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