so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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