Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
