Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
