Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
