Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize