if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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