Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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