I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize